She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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