I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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