I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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