3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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