So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize