Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
