we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
