Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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