did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
