I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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