Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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