I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
