i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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