Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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