When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
