No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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