Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
