Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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