where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
