my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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