butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your face is a jimmy john
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just cropdusted the office
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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