Plan B is the new Plan A
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
