my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize