Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
