I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
