hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
