it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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