The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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