I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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