i jhust puked up my retainher.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
