I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
