also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
