do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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