omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
