she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize