You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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