Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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