Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
