also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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