he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
