Whod you bang
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
