He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
