i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
