Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize