Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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