that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
