idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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