Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
