I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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