Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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