The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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