I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
