Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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