the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
