NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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