direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
