how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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