I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize