her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
