Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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