i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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