You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize