the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
