hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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