sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
