You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
