Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
