More tranny stories later!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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