I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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