No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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