Got a toothbrush?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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