I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
