I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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