Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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