The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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