My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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