We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
