I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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